Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
