I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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