better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
