He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
