Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize