Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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