plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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