He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
