im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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