He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize