What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
