dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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