it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
