ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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