I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
