just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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