Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
