Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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