..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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