apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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