We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
