Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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