I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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