I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
