it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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