I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
