I need help removing her.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
