I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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