I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize