Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
