One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
