let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
