giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
