Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
