She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
