used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
