So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
