I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize