I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
