Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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