Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
how drunk are you?
Several
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
