I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
