i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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