belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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