I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
