im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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