Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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