when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
