So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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