absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
