take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
