I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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