maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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