the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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