I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
