I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize