Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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