I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
