He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just gift wrapped bread.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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