So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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