that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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