cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think your dad took our porno
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
