if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
