Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
