My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
