I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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