I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
