I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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