She announced her abortion via fbk
you win again, gameday.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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