And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
