Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
ok first of all what the fuck
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
